Relax. Gavin Newsom has a clean bill of health, but City doctors say San Francisco’s sidewalks are terminal.
There’s too many obstilces to hazard walking in the City.
Case in point, the Flor de Lys, a French restaurant located nearby hustling Union Square, erected two huge cement planters in front of the building to bookend a red carpet that rolls with enormous fanfare from doorstep to curb, perpendicular to the ’many’ who walk as to greet the ’any’ that don’t.
While this would be welcome in Bellaire, Scottsdale or Palm Springs, it’s obsticle here. These walkways are our arteries delivering art students, downtown professionals, tourist, shoppers to school, work, galleries, theatres, etc.
Since when did merchants, like the Flor de Lys, own the sidewalk? This is not beautifiation, this is Dirty Business - Arrogance Par Excellence.
Chef Humbert Keller’s a Five Star obstruction – Shed weight, Fat Ass!
The City needs some Mayoral Angioplasty to step up and unclog our thoroughfares of this fatty French Royale with Cheese… and hold the Pickle – doughboy!
I mean, if a minivan turned sideways on a commuter lane the City would be spread eagle to call out the National Guard, but pedestrians are second-class citizens who spare the air and get shit on by the mayor – what gives?
How about we plant a tree in the Humbert family driveway?
Que diriez-vous de de plantons-nous un arbre dans son âne?
I’ve been to the Flor de Lys. The decor is very authentique! Reminiscenct of Les Nuits Paris Massage arround the corner only the fare not as good.
If the Chef’s delicate pallete can’t distiguish a sidewalk from a dining room, you should have some reservations about reservations – oui?
Just a block away, Postino has the same red carpet and valet stand, only Wolfgang Puck was clever and classy enough to push the plants back towards the building – se magnifique.
Please take a stroll to 777 Sutter Street between Taylor and Jones (Map). Stop and Gawk at the beautiful bottleneck. If you can’t take the risk, we understand. Close your eyes and give me space as I back up and replay the scene… I said, gimme space people … BACK IT UP! Ahhhhh, that’s it – Merci Bucu!
“It’s a Tourniquet. Traffic is completely severed .”
- Low and outside, Grandpa’s Cadillac door swings wide to the left chopping your knees curbside.
- High heat down the middle palm trees funnel skyward from the center sidewalk like an angry 500 lb nose guard tackling all on comers.
- Add a valet stand on your right and Grandma waltzing a walker like a hit and run es-car-got – viola!
- You’ve got yourself a Good Ol’ Fashioned French Clusterfuck – Add rudeness to liking and serve chilled over my dead body!
“Frogger: a signature plate of double-parked Gas-Guzzlers as you Detour around the Sidewalk into Sutter St.’s on coming cars - Délicieux!”
I called Gavin’s 311, which I applaud; and hopefully the wheels are in motion, but I’m tired of playing hall monitor. There’s got to be a budget and personnel designated to proactively police our sidewalks.
- Service Request Number for trees in the sidewalk: 125192.
- Service Request Number for valet stand in the street: 125721.
Every time I turn on my television, I’ve some washed up actor like David Schwimmer lecturing me about Clean Air and Green Living. So, how am I supposed to teleport myself to the Market & Powell MUNI/BART mall?
Slalom through the outstretched arms of homeless zombies plus the litany of signs, podiums, plants and tables littered around bus stops, mailboxes, newspaper stands, etc.
If greedy merchants like Humbert Keller can’t exercise some common sense and restraint, then someone on Gavin’s team should. I know a homeless solution is expensive, but a Sidewalk Czar shoud be relatively cheap, eh?
Developing News:
Chef Helen Keller, are you Blind, Deaf and Dumb? I can’t believe your response to my blog is to address one bad decision of planting trees in the middle of the siewalk, with another – banishing Samson, Angel and the valet stand into the street.
The valet stand has sat against the building for years without complaint, the real issue is your ego, greed and the two planters in the middle of our sidewalk. Silly Chef the street is for cars and trees are for gardens - get back in the kitchen where you belong!
How stupid are you? Let’s end the shenanigans in a more preferably aggressive, less civilized way!
Miscellaneous:
“Has anyone seen this eyesore welcoming all into our City ala drug den?”
Apparently, the City thought it smart to spend money to paint a huge sign that reads Innercity Home across a towering building on the 100 block of 6th Street greeting all who enter San Francisco from the 101 entrance.
Paris has the Eiffel Tower; Manhattan, the Statue of Liberty; and we my friends have huge advertisement saying bring me your Tired, Weary and Drug Addicted Poor.
Only tourist and business travellers don’t travel by boat anymore. They arrive through the air and touch down at SFO. In other words, this blot of the cityscape is the first building they shake hands with – not the Transamerica Building or Golden Gate Bridge.
Let’s budget the same money it erase this stupid sign.
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